What to do when you can't sleep..

Ever get that feeling you should have been Dear Abby? Not me.. I love to think but my thoughts are kind of strange.. So I write them down and then they become stranger.


I was just recalling the wonderful day with my grandchildren. I awoke at 5 am the morning we went to the arboretum and to see where paw works.


We laughed so hard that day. And I noticed how we have gone from them needing simple things done for them to just wanting to share time with me. It seemed like they were more helpful to me than I was to them.


Our day went very quickly. Addie, Zander and Gabe are such loving kids.. Full of hugs and contain kisses beyond belief and humor to keep my days full.. Events and blessings I recall from time to time that brighten my days. These children are my daughters.

The day was so fun. They showed up around 10 that morning and then ran to the pantry for breakfast at Nana and paw's.. For Addie it was Campbell's Beef Vegetable soup but for Gabe it is always Campbell's Chicken Noodle Os soup.


Zander fed off of mine and his conversation.. He always talks endlessly with me.. And laughter any mother, father, sister, brother, Nana, paw or friend can not help but fall in love with Zander's laughter. He is sunshine.. His thoughtfulness and generosity of spirit is rare...You can always find Zander in the midst of a crowd but not because he needs that but because others are drawn to him.. He is consistent in his kindness and it is not for what he can gain but for what he can give.. It's like watching a huge crowd of tiny little givers when you have the honor of watching these little children.. That is what you see come out around Zander.. Hearts full of joy over giving of self.. It is amazing..

While we were at the Arboretum I watched Zander peacefully, yet playfully walking through the park. I thought about Jesus as a boy.. I wondered if what I was seeing in my grandson was just a portion of what and who Jesus was and did as a small boy, a child and one that loves to spread that joy and love...During my observation of Zander there was never a point where I felt less value or like there was any sin about me what so ever.. This little boy holds a special gift.. And even if he were not my grandson, I think I would still see this gift.. And know I was in the presence of someone very special to God and others..

Addie knows I am prefect (as perfect as I can be)..Yet if I listen closely, her security in these ideas of me are becoming less sure. She use to believe I could move the sun and now, she knows I do well to move a stone. That is how we change and grow. At one time others know everything, to no one knows much. Still I know that this is the wonder of Addie finding herself. Turtles, animals and living creatures are where her spirit comes to life in it's fullness and total service to achieve something more.. And here again, it is not for herself that she loves these blessings..She just clings to them because that is her nature to do so..

Gabe, oh my honest Gabe.. He hit the door that morning telling me I was old. If I grunt, he asks me if I am going to die now...I'm hoping this is a stage and not something he knows with surety is going to happen any time soon.. He reminds me of my father. I feel many times when I am with him and watching his little mind work I am seeing my father as a little boy. Gabe loves to love and wants to understand so many things while he walks this earth. His joy is not found in any one thing but in all things.

Gabe is a good study.. He thinks and asks things few of us have the courage to ask for fear of well, sounding silly.. His questions are really deep and maybe they are funny because they don't have a simple answer and some I can't answer.. He does make me think..For instance, when his pet died and his pet was buried in the ground under dirt, he inquired how can that pet be in heaven? Simple for me but to him that is hard to understand. But try to really explain that. Where is heaven and what is his pet doing there? Some believe that pets are put here for our enjoyment and haven't a spirit or mind and aren't in heaven. Their existence is dependant upon the pleasure they bring us.. Yet they were created before man was. Gabe has very good questions and ones that make me really look at my answers more deeply.. He is beyond simple. He wants more than just an answer that comes down through the ages. Another words, he wants more than just because someone told him this. He wants to know why his pet is in heaven, what that pet is doing there, where heaven is, how come his pet's body is in the dirt and what was the reason for his pet to have to leave him to go some place his pet doesn't even know anyone? How many times have I asked or thought these same things? But because I haven't the truth about them I just go with the "because" answer.. Yes it is trust and faith I hold dear and near but in order to have these must I give up truth and knowledge? Gabe makes me think about this. If my only purpose is to be God's then why must I even be here? And if that is the case, why not just be given one simple fact "because God said", instead of a whole book filled with parables and lessons? Perhaps it is to help us arrive at the truth which contains questions because of those like Gabe..

I find gifts from each of my grandchildren.. Blessings greater than laughter.. Feelings deeper than love. And more honesty without regards to loyalty to family. The Bible says you must be as little children in order to see God.. It also states to let the children come unto Jesus and to not hinder them.. Of course, the Bible also tells us not to remain as little children..And to correct children.. So what part is not to remain as a child? What needs correcting? Perhaps we must remain full of joy, play in the sand and enjoy what God gave unto each of us.. Do we look at one another not looking for fault but looking at the treasure that is Gods in each of us? How many children have you seen that find fault in much of anything unless it is melted ice cream?? And when a child sees the trial others bear do they not run to help in those trials? They learn faults and wrongs through our training.. Jesus sat and broke bread with his betrayers knowing all the time what they would do to him.. Why are we told to love our enemy yet our best friends are those that we believe are understanding of us? And if we are God's, who is our enemy? Especially when we know His son sat and broke bread with what we see as His enemies? He even returned to those same ones.

If there is a time for all things under heaven isn't there also a reason? Which things are not under heaven??

This has made me tired now.. I think I will take a short nap and recall the special time at the Arboretum with my grandchildren and how really pure at heart they are..


Thank you Mandy for your help in me being able to post..There are many blessings I love to write about, And many that are the reasons for those blessings:)

How does one start?

This is my first post.. Mandy, my daughter, has been helping me with my blog.. She is a jewel.. My tiny brain at first thought I would have so much to write about but then when thoughts came to keys, nothing was there.. So I will start simple and well, stay simple.. I am blessed in so many ways.. None of these blessing were earned.. They were given to me by the grace of our heavenly Father.

I have one amazing husband that is my very best friend. How I ever was anything other than his soul mate, I can't remember. I can see in his eyes how he looks deep into the person I am.. We have lived through times that I would look at him and think, what did I see in him, to what I have found in him. He has loved me through my worst trials and given me hope for what he believes is best in me. He has comforted me in my times of hopelessness and held me during our losses.. He has been there when I learned to let go of our children because I had never knew life without them needing me.. When I learned it was me that needed them..To the birth of our grandchildren.. He works hard so that I can spend all my time doing what I want.. But because he knows that when he hits the door every evening, my day is what makes life for him joyful. Lots of wives would think how I love and desire to please him is well, a man that thinks the only use for a wife is to take care of them.. But that is by no means his thoughts or his wishes.. He does all he does so that our lives what what God's intentions were all along...

We have 2 beautiful children that add joy and worry to my life. More times than not, joy...Worry is just my own shortcoming.. I guess you never stop worrying about your children, no matter what others say..

Mandy is our daughter and is the oldest. I have learned many things in having her as a child and a friend.. Amazing that at 54 I have learned from her:) But I feel that if I ever believe I know everything then there is not much left for me here.. But I have watched as she has gone from my child, to her own person, a wife and a mother.. There are many other events I have watched unfold in her life but these are the ones the ones I mentioned are the ones that stand out in my mind and have brought me many hours of joy and I have learned from.. I know she still has these lessons to learn but I know she is open to possibilities. She has never claimed to know it all. She just knows that life if full of reasons and she has the desire to find the reasons for life.. Laughter is her greatest gift to me and sincere love.

Our youngest is Grady, our son.. He is real, honest and doesn't want for much.. Yet he has it all.. He is humble and not boastful of his gifts.. Family is what means the most to him.. He wants and desires myself and his father to be proud of him. He does not yearn for the wealth of money but for wealth of wisdom. Not something he can show others but that he understands.. Perhaps this is hard for most to understand..He has always asked questions that few think of asking.. His creator he doesn't seem to he question much. Nor does he talk about his thoughts on this matter.. But he has such a loving spirit that I know he knows our God, maybe more than I do.. He has a God given talent of music.. That is a great love he possesses.. It is not a high paying talent but it brings him joy and happiness. So here again, riches lie in things most don't look for in life.. He is smart and learns fast.. He wants to learn, too. He can do anything he puts his mind to.. He however, still has "just married on his truck and is divorced". It hurt him deeply..He is a procrastiantor, a huge one!!! But we all have our things that we are not so good at..

Looks like I have more to write about than I thought.. Wait till I get to my son-in law, grandchildren and beliefs.. Not to mention my many mothers, sisters and father.. And then there are the fun events in my life which include all my loved ones but most of all our God.. The road I chose and how God can make all things good reguardless of our choice is unbelieveable:) Hope you enjoy reading.. If not, I enjoy posting things that mean and made me who I am... God has been so good to me.. His blessings are something I want to write about... They mean too much to me not to give Him glory for all He has done even if I wasn't deserving..

Daughter Demo

Mandy is showing me how to blog! Here is a test and demo of how to blog for her.